AGURA TRAT

Fuck this book. Don't read it to your kids. That's the short version. If you want the longer version, settle in. We're going to have a bumpy ride. Also. There's spoilers here. And cussing. And some indignation. Be warned. I've always thought of myself as a bit of Roald Dahl fan. I read BFG growing up a Leggi tutto

Three stars for marital implications and pet care. The Fundamental Three Facts 1) Mr. Hoppy is in love with his neighbor, Mrs. Silver. 2) Mrs. Silver adores her pet tortoise, Alfie, but worries about how small he is. 3) Mr. Hoppy gives Mrs. Silver a "magic" spell. Aka, he kidnaps Alfie, slowly repl

This is yet another wonderful story from Roald Dahl - this time of middle-aged love thanks to some turtles and some clever swapping by Mr. Hoppy. I am sure that he and Mrs Silver are perfect for each other and happy that Alfie found a new home. This is a story that you can read in about 30 minutes t Leggi tutto

A delightful story by Dahl I have never read, but heard much about over the past few months. Magically penned and thoroughly interesting for readers of all ages. Mr. Hoppy has long had his eye on his neighbour, Mrs. Silver. While it is an innocent admiration, Mr. Hoppy soon learns that Mrs. Silver's Leggi tutto

At first I thought "A www...pretty cute story!" And then Reality-Sara bitchslapped mushy All-Books-Are-Super!-Sara because this story breaks all former immorality and suckosity records in the entire world history of written word. Esio Trot tells our young children that we can all build beautiful relat Leggi tutto

“Tortoise, Tortoise get bigger, bigger. Come on Tortoise grow up, puff up, shoot up! Spring up, Blow up swell up! Gorge! Guzzle! Stuff! Gulp! Put on fat, Tortoise, Put on fat! get on, Get on! Gobble food!!” In this short, cute and imaginative love story, we meet a man of questionable morals who dece Leggi tutto

'Tis indeed a grand romantic gesture on Mr. Hoppy's part as he does whatever it takes to win Mrs. Silver's affections . . . but are lies and deception really the best way to start off a relationship? This is definitely not one of Dahl's best, but it's better than no Dahl at all.

What the hell, Roald Dahl? (view spoiler) [If I had a pet I loved more than anything else in the world, I would FUCKING NOTICE if it was stolen by the creepy asshole upstairs and replaced with a different animal, even if I was as daft as Mrs. Silver. Also, children learn things from their books. Do we really want to (hide spoiler)] Leggi tutto

I find this story of middle-aged love delightful. It's also the first chapter book that my oldest, now 13, read all the way through. He read it aloud to me when he was in kindergarten, and we both adored it. Reread 2018: Since the first time I read this (or had it read to me) I've seen a ton of revie Leggi tutto

When he heard the words your slave for life, a little shiver of excitement swept through Mr. Hoppy. So this is supposed to be a fucking horror novel, right? Right? A thriller where this insanely lonesome man stalks his downstairs neighbor & then KIDNAPS her beloved pet tortoise? Eventually convincing Leggi tutto